These Wounds
- I’m hurting
- afraid, that I’ve broken something.
- that I’ve talked, wrote, and thunk myself
- halfway into hurt
- halfway,
- only halfway
- out of love.
- We were in love, together
- unabashed, passionate, difficult, caring
- secure
- love
- Papercuts, scrapes, and aches at times
- but worthwhile, comforting, healing
- together
- I miss her, somedays
- the good days? the hard ones?
- when I just want it back
- But, my love is tainted today
- this break, my decisions, the talking
- brings our pains to the skin
- over and over and over
- and these red sores now demand some focus
- flaring, when we talk
- I’m stuck, wondering
- these lovely wounds
- were they always here?
- internal bleeding, long hidden
- discovered under careful inspectioin
- surgical thoughts, careful conversation
- psychosomatic?
- manufactured, from worried repetition
- created, not found?
- from a focus on the worst for weeks
- fantom pains?
- hurt from loss, long since healed
- changes and growth, both
- each different
- shock myself out, forget
- and try again?
- when we talk, my heart beats for you
- every beat, love in my veins
- but my sores throb, too
- the pain burns, hot enough to sting
- but not maim
can’t keep going,
not ready to stop
Here I sit
symptoms clear, pain present
no diagnosis
and no hope for treatment, yet
- halfway hurt
- halfway cleansed
- halfway head over heels, still
- and halfway out of love. ◼︎